Hey, It's His Computer

Amazon Exclusive Star Trek Data PADD Replica

I don't usually buy high-end stuff: it's generally out of my price range. But when I heard Amazon was producing a Star Trek data PADD (Personal Access Display Device) replica, I got interested. Another company has been offering a similar replica for five hundred bucks, while Amazon was charging less than half that much.

I broke down and ordered one. It came a few days ago, and I've been playing with it ever since. Due to Star Trek's myriad incarnations, they had some freedom designing what's clearly a "iconic" interpretation of the Data PADD. While I'd have preferred something a little more boxy and old school, I appreciate the more "Next Gen" version they went with.

It's a little small, but like I said, with all the different versions that have appeared in the Star Trek franchise over the years, it's got to be accurate to some incarnation or another. Due to Trek's popularity, there are larger versions sold by competing retailers, but those are the aforementioned $500 models. Thanks, but I think I'll stick with this one.

It's pretty cool, with a bright, adjustable display and speakers. Surprisingly, it doesn't come preloaded with any Star Trek images or sounds, though it does offer WI-FI access if you want to hop online and download some.

At $200, it's certainly pricey, but not compared to some of the high-end replicas out there. This fits in perfectly with the Diamond Select Star Trek accessories I've already got.

Apparently, this is one of Amazon's best sellers right now. I never realized there were so many cosplayers out there....

Picture: The Needs of the Many

Hot Wheels Star Trek: Reliant

This ship is a little obscure if you're not a fan. The Reliant is the ship commandeered by Khan in the second Star Trek film. It was actually a little less advanced than the Enterprise, but in Khan's hands it was a deadly weapon.

Once again, this comes with a Federation base. I like the base, but it clearly works better with ships where the engines are above the craft, rather than below. The Reliant sits incredibly close to the ground, which hurts the effect.

This is the "battle-damaged" variant, which was apparently less sought after, as National Wholesale Liquidators has these for just five bucks.

The battle damage is mainly evident on the rear engine. It looks pretty good, though they probably should have used a little less paint to create the effect.

Hot Wheels: Star Trek Enterprise 1701 Refit

Lindsay and I found a whole wave of these at a National Wholesale Liquidators in Queens going for five bucks each. Even though we already have a really nice Original Series Enterprise from Art Asylum, we decided we wouldn't mind having one in this scale, as well.

Technically, this is actually the redesign of the Enterprise for the early Star Trek films. This one, if memory serves, was in Wrath of Kahn, one of the best.

As before, this comes with a Federation-style base. I'm really pleased with the level of detail and overall look of the toy.

Ion Nebulizer and Vox Communicator

I remember how bad the teasers for Galaxy Quest looked. I remember watching them on TV and thinking, "why would anyone make this movie, and why would Sigourney Weaver agree to participate?"

I didn't even consider going to see it when it came out. Then I started hearing rumors. That the movie was good. Or great. So, eventually, I got around to seeing it on video.

Holy crap, that movie was awesome. It's a parody so awesome, its mere existence makes Star Trek even better. The term 'parody' doesn't do this justice: like Sky High, Enchanted, and Shaun of the Dead, Galaxy Quest is a movie about its source material, not a movie mocking it. It's a brilliant piece of art, a science-fiction/comedy that doesn't compromise the former for the latter.

So, when I discovered a two-pack containing an Ion Nebulizer and Vox Communicator on sale at Big Bad Toy Store for $12.49, I jumped at the chance to get my mitts on some long overdue movie merchandise. This was produced by Pegasus Hobbies, a company I'm not all that familiar with.

From the description, I knew I wasn't getting anything on par with Diamond Select's fantastic Star Trek accessories, so I wasn't disappointed when these arrived. These are good for what they are, but make no mistake, they're not replicas: these are costume-quality toys.

The Ion Nebulizer looks cool, though it feels extremely cheap. The plastic is similar to what you'd get from a Halloween costume shop.

The packaging advertises that the Nebulizer has a "functioning trigger," which is just about the most ridiculous excuse for marketing I can imagine. Note that "functioning trigger" doesn't mean electronic lights or sounds; just that there's a trigger you can press. In their defense, the trigger does make a satisfying clicking sound.

The strange thing is that this seems designed to house lighting effects. The gun is clearly hollow, and there's a lot of clear, blue plastic. I suspect that, at some point, there was supposed to be more to this. Either those plans must have fallen through, or perhaps there's a more advanced version out there.

I bet that, given some knowledge of electronics, it wouldn't be too hard to take this apart and add an LED. That sounds a little more involved than I want to get at the moment, though.

The Vox Communicator has a clip on back, presumably to snap into a shirt pocket. If there was any doubt this was a costume accessory as opposed to a replica, I'd say it's been cleared up.

This actually has an action feature in the form of a spring loaded mechanism opening the lid. It's nothing fancy, though they took the time to calibrate it to open at a good speed: always appreciated. The inside is a fairly run-of-the-mill decal, though. I'm a little disappointed they didn't at least go for a hologram or something.

I wouldn't advise paying much more than twelve bucks for these, but at that price it's cool having some artifacts from Galaxy Quest to display alongside my Star Trek and Star Wars replicas. Or, you know, to save the Universe.

Star Trek: Klingon Bird of Prey

I'm shopping at the Time Square Toys R Us, selected what I want (or not, if they don't have anything I'm looking for), and then I go down the basement floor, where they keep all the die-cast cars. I find the Klingon Bird of Prey and take it to a scanner to verify it's still $15.

It is. It always is.

I do this every time I go in. For about a year. The Bird of Prey moves around sometimes, but I always find it, always scan it. And it's always fifteen bucks.

Until today. Today, it's eight dollars. And, unlike $15, that's something I'm willing to pay.

This is a pretty cool toy. The package claims it's die-cast - and I'm sure some of it is - but the majority is clearly plastic. No problem: if I was prejudiced against fossil fuels I wouldn't be running this blog.

Like the Next Gen Enterprise I bought last year, it's a lot bigger than the matchbox cars, but a good deal shorter than the more expensive Diamond Select toys.

This actually has some articulation in the wings. You can move them into three positions - up, neutral, and down - similar to how they move in the show. The base, while echoing the shape of the Federation symbol, is in Klingon colors and has their empire's insignia on the side. Once again, the ship is held in place by a ball-joint.

Which reminds me: be very careful when playing with these. The reason you don't see any comparison shots with the Next Gen Enterprise is that the peg snapped on me.

Star Trek Enterprise Broken Bow Deluxe: Lt. Malcolm Reed and Tactical Systems Base

I haven't seen all of Star Trek: Enterprise, but I actually really like most of what I have. I know there's not a lot of love out there for this show - even fans of Voyager seem to dismiss it - but I was impressed with what I saw. I can't help but think that, had the show been given a theme song which wasn't THE SINGLE WORST EVER RECORDED IN TELEVISION HISTORY, maybe - just maybe - it could have lasted more than three seasons. Pity: I thought the show itself was pretty good.

So. How'd I end up owning this? That's mainly due to Figure of the Day, a website which offers a single action figure each day. I've been trying to keep an eye on the site. This showed up a few weeks back for twenty bucks, and I grabbed it, partly for the playset and partly as an experiment to see if the site was any good.

Shipping was included in the price, and it arrived fast and in great condition. What's more, the folks at Figure of the Day tossed in a Star Trek poster along with it, which was awfully nice of them.

The set (produced by Art Asylum back in the day) comes disassembled, but it's fairly easy to put together. None of the panels do anything, but there are a few play features. First, there's a button on the floor that cycles through some sounds and voice effects. It's incredibly loud but not particularly clear; I don't plan on playing with that too much.

Far more useful, the chair can swivel and is on a sliding track. This is a nice feature, one I'm happy to have. I should probably mention that this is supposed to be part of a full bridge. There's a small, plastic connector, should you buy the other sets and link them together. Assuming they released all the other sets, that is: I'm not sure whether they had a chance before the line was cancelled.

The figure... is bizarre. From the pictures, I'd assumed he was more or less a statue, similar to what you'd get from NECA. In fact, the outfit is mostly a thin, rubber membrane concealing a fully articulated figure beneath. Conceptually, it's got some merit: in reality... not so much.

First of all, his hips just look weird when he's sitting. On top of that, the rubber suit functions like a sort of elastic, preventing him from retaining positions you're not holding him in.

So, neat idea, but it doesn't really work. Pity, because the set itself is beautiful. But, what are you going to do? I mean, it's HIS playset. You can't just walk up and take it away from -- WHA?

OH MY GOD - DID YOU SEE THAT? ONE PUNCH!

Ahem. Sorry. Where were we? Oh yes. We were reviewing my new Bat-Computer Console Playset.

Granted, it's missing a giant screen, but I plan on correcting that in time. The overall look of the Bat-Computer console is pretty fantastic, with angled panels that evoke a bat's wings and high tech looking knobs and buttons. It's kind of perfect.

I particularly like how Batman's cape flows over the chair. It looks great, and keeps him in place. All in all, this is a fantastic bat-computer console.

Star Trek: Classic Science Tricorder

My wife and I have been eying this for a while. We're both fans of Star Trek in general, especially the original series, and we've slowly been amassing a collection of both Star Trek action figures and replicas.

The thing is, while this has intrigued us for a while, we weren't ready to drop $40 - $45 on it (or $30, for that matter). But given how long they'd been camping out on the shelves at Toys R Us, I've had a feeling for a while now that we wouldn't have to.

In fact, about a year ago I remember looking at this and thinking, "fifteen." You'll never guess what the Toys R Us in Queens was charging for the last one they had in stock....

If there's one thing I've gotten pretty good at, it's predicting the precise cost toys will get marked down to before disappearing altogether.

Yes, that's right. I'm so cheap, I've transformed my stinginess into a power. If I could figure out a way to fight crime with it, I'd be a superhero. The worst superhero in history, perhaps, but a superhero nonetheless.

I should mention that getting the last one in stock meant the box wasn't exactly in mint condition. Good thing I couldn't care less about packaging.

Actually, I was taking a bit of a risk with this thing. In addition to the box not looking so hot, the top drawer had fallen off and was loose in the box. The whole thing looked like it might have been returned to the store, and on top of everything else, the "try me" feature had been used so long, the batteries were completely dead. I bought this not knowing if the toy worked or not.

I'm happy to say I was worried over nothing. As soon as I'd changed out the batteries (no simple task: you have to open the bottom drawer, remove the inner panel, then unscrew and pull off a third level before you can get to the AAA's), everything was working fine.

And make no mistake, this thing is loaded with features. When you open the top (which gives you a soft "clicking" sound), the lights go on and start blinking. Incidentally, those lights are BRIGHT. There are three buttons: one to "scan", one to cycle through voice clips, and a third that's a tad more complicated.

The scan feature is the one that's most straightforward. The light patterns change, the toy emits a loud "scanning" sound, and the psychedelic disk rotates until you either press the button again, close the lid, or your batteries run out of juice.

The speech button activates one of six sound clips. These are all of Spock, and they're well chosen, not to mention loud and clear.

The button on the left is sort of a "play" setting. You hit it, close the lid, then wait five seconds, and the Tricorder starts making noise (it cycles through two possibilities - an incoming message or a sort of malfunction). Open it, and Spock's voice once again chimes in with a clips related to the sounds.

The Tricorder comes with a small scanner, which runs on watch batteries (unlike the AAA's, these are still good on mine). The scanner doesn't make noise, but it does light up. The light cycles through several different colors, thanks to a number of small LEDs inside. It's not as bright as the lights on the Tricorder, but it's pretty cool.

What impresses me most about Diamond's "replicas" is the company's willingness to walk the line between cosplay accessory and toy. Despite being made of plastic and being (relatively) cheap for any kind of replica, this is more or less screen accurate and ready to go to conventions or be worn with a nice Starfleet uniform. And the "scan" function reinforces that. If you want to act like Spock, press the middle button, and roleplay to your heart's content.

However, this is also a toy. A toy for grownups, but a toy nonetheless. There's no reason a replica needs a bunch of sound clips of Spock (replicas, strictly speaking, should just do what the prop did; not repeat lines actors say).

I like that Diamond included this functionality. Once again, they've demonstrated that they know how to have fun with their merchandise.

Now I have a Phaser....

Toys R Us has been carrying a number of Diamond Select's Star Trek accessories since Abrams' reboot came out a few years back. My wife and I love Star Trek - particularly original series - but we were a little hesitant to pay full price for some of this stuff.

Fortunately, that's no longer necessary. While the movie merchandise has been on clearance forever, Toys R Us left the "classic" replicas full price... until recently.

This is one of two variants, the other being darker in color (Toys R Us only carried the one - I think I'd have have gone with the other if everything else was equal).

I like Diamond Select. They're good at making toys for grownups. Sure, you could buy a far nicer replica, but good luck picking it up for twenty bucks.

The buttons and knobs function as "settings," allowing you to set your phaser to stun, kill, torch, or disrupt. You can even set it on overload, and it'll make a "self destruct" sound. The red light flashes at different speeds depending on your setting.

Take your pick, but remember: stun is for pussies.

You can also disconnect the top, converting it into a hand-phaser. You know, so you don't need to haul the whole thing around when you're wiping out alien civilizations.

All in all, it's pretty sweet. These seem to have disappeared from the Toys R Us stores around here, but if you're living outside NYC, it might be worth a trip to see if they have any at a good price.