Picture: Smile

October Horrors, Pt. 6: Dissection of a Kiss

I bought this figure a few months back for the giant 'I' packaged in the lower left - I wanted to give it to Zatanna as a table (more on that here).

Here's the figure intact with all his accessories. Don't get attached.

Almost immediately, the figure's lower arm snapped off. I didn't have much interest in keeping the figure intact anyway, so I decided to salvage the parts.

The head is fascinating. Despite being a traditional action figure in most respects, the head is actually more like a typical doll's: soft, hollow plastic with rooted hair.

He also came with this delightful spear.

I've kept everything except the green fuzz. I have no idea how much of this stuff I'll get around to using, but you never know.

Halo: Flood, Pure Form

Ah, Halo. I've never played the game, but I sure have a lot of the action figures. Why? Because these things wind up in clearance more consistently than just about any other toys I know of. You just have to wait.

Judging by appearances, this thing looks to be some sort of alien parasite. Beyond that, you probably know way more than I do.

I like the texture on this thing, though overall the design feels a bit too bizarre. I'm all for making aliens look alien, but if it takes a minute to determine which end is the front, it's gone too far.

I picked this up at a Toys R Us Express for three or four dollars. At some point, I've got a custom project that might incorporate some of the parts. Assuming I ever get the time, of course.

Spawn: Scourge

Ah, Spawn. What would the 90's have been without you? I remember when it seemed like Spawn was here to stay, like he was the future of comics.

Ha! These days, the character's remembered more for his impact on toys than comics. Spawn may not matter much on the comic shelves, but the influence McFarlane had on the toy industry can't easily be overstated.

None of this has anything to do with I bought this, however. Honestly, I just wanted the parts, particularly the head. Well, the lower head, anyway.

If the copyright info on the back is to be believed, this guy's from 1996. The articulation is pretty good for the time, but clearly dated.

The sculpting is really the strong point: there are some really cool ridges and horns that have great custom potential. Not bad for five bucks at St. Mark's Comics.

Prince of Persia: Alamut Gate Playset

Sometimes, I feel a little bad for toy companies. They pick up licenses to upcoming films long before seeing the movies. When McFarlane bought the rights to Prince of Persia, they were gambling it would be the next Pirates of the Caribbean.

It wasn't. And, because of that, McFarlane must have taken a pretty substantial hit. Great movies move new merchandize for years; poor ones ensure toys linger in clearance, slowly dropping price until they get so cheap....

This is the Alamut playset. The irony is that this is a good toy. It looks cool as a backdrop, and (if you're into play features) it comes loaded. Actually, far too loaded for my tastes: I just wanted a backdrop.

The figure included is pretty good, though it loses most of its value due to the movie's poor quality. Who really wants a reminder of Prince of Persia sitting on their shelf?

Let's talk features. The gate opens and closes, thanks to a crank on the side. This takes some time, though, and it's generally more trouble than it's worth.

There's also a bunch of rocks designed to drop out of a shoot with the press of a button. They seemed to stick on mine. Even if they'd functioned right, they'd still have been trouble than they're worth: like I said, I want a backdrop, and things like that just remind you that you've got a playset.

Next up, are the fold out stairs. These don't really hurt much, but they're more or less useless. Again, more trouble than they're worth.

As is the catapult, designed to launch the aforementioned rocks in the air. Cute idea, but the execution is a bit tame. Also, the lock on mine came broken. It's hard to complain too much, given how little I paid and how long this lingered on the shelf, but still.

Finally, there are a bunch of pegs going up the front, in case you want to have the figures running up or along the walls or something. To be fair, these will hold the figure up. However, given the figure's limited articulation, you can't accomplish much. The edge at the top works far better, allowing the figure to look like he's holding on for dear life. I don't have any idea whether this was intentional or a happy coincidence, but it's pretty cool. As for the pegs, you guessed it: more trouble than they're worth. Here's the best use I found for those:

Yes, you can display the hero plummeting towards his death.

While this set has some serious issues, right now it's a hell of a bargain. I found this at a Toys R Us in Queens for a buck fifty. At that price, I grabbed a pair of them.

Picture: Desert Stronghold

Grendel's Mother Is So Cheap....

Grendel's mother is so cheap, I bought the action figure just so I could break it and use it for SPARE PARTS.

Huh. I don't get it.

Remember the CG Beowulf movie that came out a few years ago? Me, neither. Apparently, someone at McFarlane Toys thought it was going to be big, though, so they picked up the license and made a ton of action figures, including the one above.

I'm guessing that didn't work out so well for them.

It worked out pretty well for me, though: I grabbed two of those for around $2 each about a year after the movie came out. Then I pulled the figures apart (which is why the bottom half isn't actually connected in the above photo, in case you were wondering).

I got a lot of mileage out of these broken toys: the snake tails double beautifully as tentacles. I used them as miniatures in a D&D game once, and they went over well. Actually, I used the top halves as "statues" in another game once. And when I say "statues," I actually mean statues: despite the checkered floor in front of them, they were inanimate and entirely harmless. I thought the PC's were going to wet themselves.

Ha! Good times.

I also used the "tentacles" in a bunch of photos, including this rather amateurish photoshop job at my fiction site.

About a week ago, my wife and I rather literally divided one of these up, which is why I'm mentioning it here. I took the head; she took the arms. More about those projects soon....