Green Lantern Classics: Black Lantern Abin Sur

Abin Sur was the prior Green Lantern of Sector 2814. He held the job for a while then retired peacefully to a small planet in the Andromeda to pursue his love of music. Kidding! Like the vast majority of space cops, he got killed so a younger character could fill his shoes. That young rookie was, of course, Hal Jordan of Earth.

But that wasn't the end of Abin Sur. Nope: in the "Blackest Night" crossover, he was risen from the grave as a zombie fighting for Nekron to extinguish all life in the Universe, primary because life kept playing loud music late at night or something.

And that's where this version of Abin Sur comes from. The only problem is that Blackest Night was kind of a let down. Broadly speaking, the concept was decades old (Alan Moore introduced a prophesy of the event in the 80's, though I don't think he mentioned zombies), and expectations were sky-high for Geoff Johns, who'd already expanded the Green Lantern mythos brilliantly. In the end, the zombie-thing just felt silly and the story was kind of dull. On top of that, the subsequent company-wide reboot more or less made the whole thing feel pointless. Technically, most of it is still in continuity, but - let's face it - it really isn't relevant anymore.

The figure is certainly sporting a nice head sculpt. I also love the hands: this is an appropriately creepy toy. You also get some added effect from the sculpt thanks to some added articulation. Mattel went with the double-hinged elbows and ball-jointed wrists. Curiously, they stuck with the single-pin knees. I'm not really complaining - I don't need double-pin knees on this guy - but I was a little surprised they included them on the Manhunter and left them out here.

The only extras packaged with Abin Sur's corpse are a stupid 3D mask and the head/ass of Arkillo, the Collect & Connect character. It's a good head sculpt, by the way.

What's missing (at least in my humble opinion) is a bloody heart. I mean, look at this left hand: he should clearly be holding one.

Ultimately, I think I respect this figure more than I like the concept. He's really embedded in a single story-line I just don't care that much about. But there's no denying the head and hands are good work, and the added articulation works well here.

But, honestly, I really just bought this so I'd be another step closer to completing Arkillo. Toys R Us marked all these figures to less than nine bucks, so I picked him up.

Green Lantern Classics: Manhunter

No man escapes the Manhunters, but nine times out of ten no ones needs to escape these guys: most of the time, whoever they're after just turns around and kicks their robot ass. Sure, officially they're supposed to be some kind of universal scourge and longtime enemy of the Green Lantern Corps, but in practice they wind up feeling like cannon fodder. Even so, they're certainly longtime Green Lantern villains, so I suppose it was time for Mattel to make a figure. Unfortunately, like the Guardians who made them the first time, they didn't do a great job.

To be fair, there is a lot to like here. The arm gauntlets and boots are cool, and the extra leg articulation is appreciated. But that doesn't make up for the boring paint job on the head. There's a decent if unremarkable sculpt underneath, but the lack of any real shading gives this the impression of something released decades ago.

I mentioned the articulation before: in addition to the normal joints, you get a double-pin on the knees, allowing for some cool poses. In theory. See, the above pose is really cool, but it's not like he could actually hold it. If wanted to display him on one leg, you'd need to put him on a stand. There's just one problem:

Oh, Mattel. I thought we were past this. The Manhunter, for no reason I can fathom, lacks a peg-hole  in either foot. So unless you want to drill one (or wire him in flight), those knees aren't good for much beyond pratfalls.

The good news is that you do get a few accessories. He comes with an old-school Green Lantern battery (the Manhunters were entrusted with the Guardians' power once upon a time), a piece of Arkillo, and the same stupid 3D mask every character in this wave came with.

In case you were wondering, I bought this because it was less than nine bucks at Toys R Us, which was cheaper than buying Arkillo's torso on Ebay. If you're looking to complete Arkillo, now's the time to look into these. If not, you may want to skip this figure. He's not awful, but he's definitely one of the worst 6-inch DC figures Mattel's put out in a while. Unless you count the Movie Masters, of course.

Green Lantern Classics: Mongul

For reasons I'm not entirely clear on, Mattel keeps releasing Mongul. It's possible they're under the impression he's a far more important villain than he actually is. Or I suppose it's also possible they just really, really like the sculpt the Four Horsemen did for them (it is, to be fair, really cool).

At any rate, they released Mongul at least twice before. As far as I know, this is the same sculpt, though I can't say for certain, because this is the first I bought and I'm clearly too lazy to spend the necessary 5 minutes of research finding out.

Regardless, he's not exactly the same as the other releases, since this is the Sinestro Corps version who showed up in Green Lantern a year or two back. I didn't actually read that arc, but I think I get the general idea: he tried to take over the Sinestro Corps from Sinestro and wound up being an antagonist for both the good guys and bad guys.

The figure is certainly imposing. I'm also in awe of the Four Horsemen's ability to turn a color scheme usually associated with My Little Pony and turn it into something genuinely awesome (also adapt at this trick: My Little Pony).

My one complaint with Mongul is that his articulation is extremely limited by his bulk and his belt. But I suppose that's the price you pay.

He comes with Arkillo's left arm, which is a big part of why I bought him. In addition, he comes with the same crappy pair of 3D glasses every character in this wave was packaged with. Noticeably absent is a Black Mercy, the alien flower used by this character to entrap his enemies within a fantasy world.

These started out costing more than $20, but I found him on clearance for less than $9. There's nothing like the period right after Christmas for finding deals.

Movie Masters Green Lantern: Hal Jordan with Bzzd

Mattel's Movie Masters line has been alliterative but not particularly consistent. They released some amazing Batman figures, but a lot of the Dark Knight's supporting cast has been mediocre. The first wave of their Green Lantern figures, on the other hand, was mostly good: by and large, the aliens looked phenomenal (though from what I've seen, the Parallax build-a-figure is a flop).

While I wasn't a fan of the movie, I still wanted a Hal for my collection. When I saw one going for eight bucks at a local discount store, I got excited. Then I took a closer look and realized the figure kind of sucked. But then I looked EVEN CLOSER and realized it was actually a two-pack, as it also included Bzzd, an insectoid alien Green Lantern. And that's awesome.

The cool thing about Bzzd is that, due to his small size, I could display him with my Green Lantern Classics figures, and no one would notice he was out of place with the comic book versions of the Lantern Corps. Granted, no one would notice him at all, but that's hardly relevant, is it?

Actually, you get a few accessories here. In addition to the two Lanterns, you also get a green display stand. It's more or less identical to the ones that sometimes come with DC Universe Classics figures, but green. You wouldn't think molding it a different color would count for much, but honestly I think it's a pretty big improvement.

The last accessory is a Green Lantern ring. Unlike the pieces of junk Mattel stuck in every one of those damn 3.75 inch figures, this one is actually pretty nice. In fact, considering it's just an extra, I'd say it's really nice.

Sure, it's definitely a toy and not a high end replica, but it would certainly work as a costume piece. Also, it's not a bad fit:

That's a good thing, too, because the headliner in this pack, Hal Jordan, really isn't much to look at. This version differs from the Hal in wave one by being unmasked, being much blander in color, and having some of the crappiest paint ops I've seen in a while. Seriously, Mattel?

The articulation is also annoying. I get that Mattel was trying to design something with as many ball joints as possible, but it winds up providing surprisingly little range of movement, crappy balance, and still looks incredibly stupid, especially when compared with the earlier Movie Masters Batman.

This is definitely one of those times when the accessories eclipse the figure. On his own, this Hal isn't even worth the eight bucks he was marked down to, but the ring, secondary character, and (to a lesser extent) even the stand add up, making this is a good deal.

Action League: Arkillo & Sinestro

In my opinion, Mattel's answer to Hasbro's Superhero Squad keeps getting better. The Action League line started back in 2009 with several waves based on Batman: The Brave and the Bold. Since then, it jumped to DC proper, and dramatically improved in the process.

Not too long ago, I looked at a two-pack containing Deadman and Martian Manhunter I received as a gift. It was part of wave which included two packs I didn't really need (I already have a Flash and Batman) and this:

While I actually do already own a Sinestro, he's the "White Lantern" version that came with Hal. While he's certainly cool, I far prefer having Sinestro slinging his yellow ring. The fact he came with Arkillo didn't hurt, either. For those of you who might be out of the loop, Arkillo's basically an anti-Kilowog. In fact, despite being a new character, he feels like he should be Kilowog's Silver-Age nemesis. For those of you who have no idea what any of that means, just smile and nod.

Like Kilowog, Arkillo's an extra large figure. Thanks to his posture, he stands a bit shorter than his foe, but he still towers over others in this scale. The sculpt and paint are both good, and the design is at once menacing and a little wacky, which feels right.

Sinestro's pretty great, too. I like the look and design of the figure, though I do have one quibble. With articulation already slim (cut head, waist, and shoulders), designing him with an arm outstretched reduces the your posing options even further. I'm still waiting for Mattel to wake up and realize they should be including cut joints on the wrists, given how large their hands are.

I ordered these from Toys R Us's website, where I paid something like $8 plus shipping. Four or five years ago, I'd have baulked at paying four bucks a figure for toys in this scale, but now it seems pretty reasonable, especially considering Arkillo's mass.

I still feel like the articulation is lacking, but the overall quality of these figures has really improved since the line started. I'm a bit underwhelmed on the upcoming Flashpoint wave, but I'm hoping Mattel keeps these coming.

Batman Legacy: Prototype Batman and Lt. Jim Gordon

When I heard that Mattel was making a movie version of Jim Gordon, I was incredibly excited. When I saw pictures, I became decidedly less so. And the fact it came with a repackaged version of the "Prototype Suit" Batman didn't exactly help matters. The $30 price tag (more in some places) was the final blow: thanks, but no thanks, Mattel: I can live without a third Gordon in this scale.

Then a funny thing happened: no one bought this. Consequently, there were plenty of extras, and Amazon went ahead and marked it down to EIGHT DOLARS. Plus shipping (unless you have Amazon Prime and get free shipping. Which I do).

Crappy or not, these were worth $8, so I ordered them a few days before Christmas.

The bio on back doesn't shy away from Batman's motivation: the opening words are, "After his parents are murdered in cold blood before his young eyes...." I appreciate the fact that Mattel didn't pull punches here: the front states this is intended for adult collectors, and they seem to mean it. On top of the opening, Gordon has a fairly realistic gun, something Mattel seemed reluctant to include in the Movie Masters line this spun off of.

The gun is definitely the better of the two accessories included: Bruce comes with a rubber mask that goes over his head:

See, that's exactly the kind of accessory conventional wisdom says you stick in with toys aimed at young kids (though I question whether kids want something so ridiculously awkward, either). At any rate, this effect clearly should have been done with an alternate head sculpt.

On the other hand, this pose is kind of cool:

I expect that most people displaying this figure are doing so without the mask. The rest of suit is actually pretty cool, though there can't be that much interest in displaying Bruce in his prototype costume. Frankly, I'd rather if they'd made Bruce Wayne wearing a business suit, or that sort of thing.

The Wayne head sculpt is well done. If nothing else, this figure is an opportunity to make a custom unmasked Batman. Of course, Mattel did produce one in this scale, but that was a rare variant. If I had an extra movie Batman lying around, I have to admit I'd be tempted to make my own.

Yeah. Bruce's head was nice, but something is seriously wrong with Gordon. The nose is just ridiculous, and the glasses are way too big. The paint's off, too, though with a sculpt this bad, I'm not sure I can blame Mattel for phoning the rest in.

Ultimately, this set just isn't all that good. It's certainly worth the eight bucks I spent, but I feel bad for anyone who paid retail.

It's Like Reading this Review

I received a lot of presents this Christmas that genuinely surprised me. This... wasn't one of them. See, I may - just possibly may - have mentioned to my wife that I wanted this.

And that it was in stock at Midtown Comics. And I might have mentioned that it was going for something like $18, not a steal, but certainly less than I paid for the nearly identical Wreck-Gar figure I bought earlier this year.

Now, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking that transcendentalism is due for a comeback in today's consumer-friendly climate of philosophical speculation. Well, that's an incredibly stupid thought to be having, and you should be ashamed for allowing your attention to wander so far off subject.

A better question - the one you should have been asking - is why I wanted Junkheap when I already have a nearly identical figure.

No, no: I take it back. That's a dumb question, too.

Here's the thing some of you kids today might not know: the pinnacle of human civilization was reached in 1986 during the release of the only Transformers movie that matters, in the midst of an epic battle sequence on the planet Jun, when an army of Junkions attacked the Autobots (due to a misunderstanding, of course), all to the soundtrack of Weird Al Yankovic's "Dare to be Stupid." Everyone who was paying attention back then knows this to be true; we just usually don't say anything because we want to leave future generations with the false illusion they might be able to offer something of value and importance.

Those Junkions attacked mounted on motorcycles. When they were knocked off, the robots turned into motorcycles and their cycles turned into robots, and it all started over again.

As you can imagine, just having Wreck-Gar, leader of the Junkions, isn't enough: you need a second Junkion to remain in vehicle mode as his ride. It's only logical.

As you can see, Junkheap's vehicle mode is pretty awesome. Sure, it's exactly the same as Wreck-Gar's, but that's as it should be. Plus, new paint.

Let's check out Junkheap's robot mode:

Actually, you know what? Let's not. See, I learned with Wreck-Gar that transforming these guys takes effort. Like, serious effort. And I ultimately want to display this guy in vehicle mode, anyway. Besides, the only difference between this and Wreck-Gar (other than the paint and decals) is his head. And, fortunately, I don't have to transform him to get a look at that:

That's a damn fine mustache right there.

Before I wrap this up, I should probably mention this is a good time to pick up Wreck-Gar himself: I've seen him going for $8 at a couple different bargain shops in town. Keep your eyes open, and you're liable to snag one without dropping three times that much.

As for me, I'm sorry I'm out that money, but at the same time I'm proud I dared to be stupid. Frankly, the money's nothing compared to the joy I'm getting out of this. Because I've been waiting twenty-five years for this:

And to think some suckers devote their lives to faith or science.